Comedy of Errors

“Stop!”

5 year-old is laying on top of 2 year-old again, in an apparent attempt to suffocate him. I pull him off. “Don’t lie on your brother please, especially not on his head. That’s the sort of thing that makes him bite and scratch you.”

While I chat with 5 year-old, 2 year old crawls up behind 5 year-old and takes a bite out of 5 year-old’s leg in retaliation.

5 year-old is now hysterical, I have to comfort him. I try not to say I told you so. It’s hard; I have to bite my lip to keep it in.

I take 5 year-old to kitchen, clean and dress puncture wound. Hope for the best.

2 year-old follows us out to the kitchen. He’s walking blindly, his blankie over his head. I’m about to take him and put him in time out for biting, when he walks right into the wall (which he can’t see through his blankie), falls to the ground holding his forehead and starts to cry hysterically.

I take 2 year-old in my arms and comfort him. A large blue lump has already formed on his forehead.

Everybody starts to recover, calm down.

Not long later, 2 year old takes basin of water out of kitchen, and pours it on living room floor. Why he does this sort of thing (all the time) I don’t know. He loves sprinkling juice, yogurt, water, milk all over the place. It’s some primal instinct to...I don’t know what, maybe pee on everything to make it his? Not sure. (When he takes his diaper off, lots of pee happens all over, too.)

Anyway, he pours the basin of water everywhere. I go to pick him up and take him to time out as, primal instinct or not, I’m trying to curb this behaviour. He tries to run from me, slips on the water mess he just made and slides right into the corner of the wall. Slams forehead right next to spot where he already slammed his forehead. Cries hysterically. For the second time that day I comfort him instead of putting him in time out. I’ve got to re-examine my methods.

As I’m putting 2 year-old down in the sofa, 5 year-old starts complaining about being cold. This is not a surprise as he’s only wearing a t-shirt (and its winter). I’d been trying to get him to put a sweatshirt on for 3 hours.

Going to the utility room for clothes for 5 year-old, I miscalculate and slam my nose into door. It hurts so much I want to cry. Blood drips down my nose. Boys see me and start to cry hysterically. I clean up my face and reassure them.

Finally, everyone is calmed down. I put on the TV. I just need to keep everyone still for 30 minutes.