Easter Break

School has let out for two weeks. The cousins were down over the weekend and we all had a blast, but now that those kids are gone, it’s me and my two for 13 more days. What will we do with ourselves? My kids and I have differing opinions.

Things my children (2 and 5 years old) would like to do over the two-week Easter Break:

photo by Jeroen van Oostrom

• Stay in pyjamas all day, eat chocolate for breakfast, ice cream for lunch and ham straight out of the packet for dinner
• Go to the local soft play centre, daily (at 14 bucks each time) 
• Be driven two hours to the zoo, in another city
• Sail a boat (the five year old insists he can because he knows how to say, “Man overboard.” He’s never been on a boat)
• Visit the Great Wall of China 
• Drive my car to the shop
• Get a pet dinosaur
• Battle an evil transformer
• Meet the Queen.

Things my children will actually do over Easter Break:

• Be let outside to play.

They better get used to it, because it’s pretty much what they’ll be doing for the summer holidays, too.

Happy Easter and/or Passover!

Jimmy the Spider

The kids are dying for a dog. They talk about dogs, they look at dogs, they run after dogs on the playground, they look at dog pictures, tell dog stories and ask for one several times a week. I am not dying for a dog. Not because I don’t love dogs – I do.

The first love of my life was a St. Bernard bitch, big and lazy. She shed everywhere, slobbered profusely, couldn’t do any tricks, ate the food off my plate if my attention lapsed for even a second, and woke me up in the middle of the night to let her out. Also, she didn’t like children much (except for me), and she really didn’t like them to run. That made her crazy, and she’d growl until you slowed down. I loved her to bits. I used to lie on the floor hugging and kissing her and playing with her paws. When I was smaller, I’d push the footstool up beside her, climb on, grab her collar and ride her like a horse around the living room until I slid off her loose coat. She was brilliant.

However, I just can’t handle a pet in the house right now. I’m barely able to cope with two boys, and I can’t imagine throwing a dog into the mix – with the walking and the feeding and the attention and the training and the commitment and the vet bills. Not right now – but someday yes. In the meantime, I thought recently, I’ve got to get them to stop haranguing me for a dog. I keep saying soon, and the 5 year old is starting to think that soon means never.

The other day, I had Max, the 2 year old, on the counter in the bathroom, changing him. Zach, 5 years old going on 13, was washing his hands next to us. I heard Max yell, “Ah! A Pider!” We looked up and there was a GIANT spider on the far wall. Zach yelled, “Yikes!”

They freaked out (the thing was the size of my hand), until I said, “Hey, guys, what are you screaming about? That’s our new pet Spider! He’s come to live with us. He’s the perfect pet – very low maintenance.”

That calmed them down immediately. They started smiling at the spider, looking at him in a new light.

“What should we name him, boys?”

Zach and Max stared at each other for a minute, and then Zach piped up: “Jimmy!”

So, after that, we started calling him Jimmy the Spider. He had webs set up in every corner of the bathroom ceiling and the game every time we went to the bathroom was to look around and try to find Jimmy to say Hi. Jimmy’s been her for a while – I’ve lost track. In fact, Jimmy’s been here so long now we’ve made up a song:

He’s Jimmy the Spider
The Wonderful, Wonderful Spider
He sits
He stares
He walks around
Sometimes, he eats a fly
He’s Jimmy the Spider
Hey!

Jimmy’s awesome. I don’t have to feed him, I don’t have to walk him, I don’t need to microchip him and if, perchance, tragedy were to strike and someone were to smash him, I could easily find a replacement.

Friday night, the way kids do, Max pulled on my guilt cord. After a bedtime nappy change he looked for Jimmy. I zipped up Max’s pyjamas, picked him up and told him to say good night to Jimmy.

So he did: “Good night Jimmy. I love you.”

How bad a mommy am I, pretending a household pest is really a household pet? A wave of shame washed over me as I realised, these guys need a real pet. Not one who’s going to die or be eaten in three weeks.

Hmmmm....a dog...

Anyway, the following morning, we noticed there was a second spider in the bathroom. I thought: oh dear, this is getting out of hand. It’s an invasion: I better get rid of these spiders.

Zach looked up and said, “Hey! Another spider!” He Thought for a moment, “We’ll name him Oscar! Now we have TWO pets! We don’t need a dog at ALL!”

On second thought, they can stay.

The Best Purchase for Young Children is No Purchase at All

Someone recently asked me about toys that are good buys for young children. The March 7th Social Mom’s writing prompt asks: what was the best purchase I ever made as a mother? After having a think about this, I decided that I couldn't in good conscience write a blog post about spending money. Firstly, I have little of it. I could wax lyrical about great products, but I won’t be buying any right now. Secondly, lots of other people these days don’t have enough money, either. As they say, though: the best things in life are free. This sounds like a cliché, but when it comes to raising kids, it’s almost true. Here's a list of the BEST NON-PURCHASES I'VE EVER MADE:

1. Dirt – I used to pay for sand, but when the sand ran out one day, my two boys just sat down and started playing in the dirt under the sand table. I was like: ‘What the Hell – why not?” I have to make sure and bath them after an afternoon outside-- but I had to bath them after a spell in the sand box anyway. Sand is worse, actually, as it goes EVERYWHERE. PRICE: Free

2. A Large Cardboard Box – Because my two year old killed the TV last week (there’s another blog post in that story), my husband brought home a new TV on Friday night. It came in a large box. Last summer, I bought a large piece of furniture, which also came in a large box. Guess what happened with these boxes after their contents were removed? That’s right – hours of play. They ended up outside and the kids hid in them, imagined in them, and, eventually, destroyed them. Price: Free (initial purchase required-unless you go box hunting around town...) Warning: you may have to clean box pieces off your lawn or living room rug. Trust me, this is worth having them entertained and stimulated (read: out of your hair) for a while.

3. Fresh Air - There’s nothing like several hours outside to exhaust them and get them into bed by 7:20 pm. How does my family like to get fresh air? Walks, bike riding, skateboarding, “insect hunting” in the garden with old fishing nets, chasing each other, etc. If you don’t have a bike or anything else, walking will do. Collect stones, weeds, and other interesting tit-bits along the way. Price: Free (If you don’t have outdoor fun gear, secure hand-me-downs or shop in a thrift store.)

4. The Local Playground - I want us outside getting physical exercise as much as possible. Playgrounds are great for climbing frames, area to run, swings, and so on. They make a change from the front garden, and you can picnic there, as well. We were home in Florida visiting family over Christmas 2009, and made the disappointing discovery that the local playground in Broward County was closed two days a week because of cut backs in public services funding. We showed up there one afternoon ready to play and couldn’t. What a bummer. This means that the fabulous public amenities they have in Broward aren’t available to children and adults on those days. Price: Free – unless you want to include your tax dollars that go to maintenance. And, petrol to get there (unless you can walk).

5. A Packet of Balloons - The kind you inflate with your mouth. Having a pack in the cupboard is no less than a lifeline on rainy days. Blow them up and play balloon volleyball in the living room. Or, balloon soccer. Or, balloon catch...you get the picture. The kids get exercise even when there’s snow or ice outside- and you can’t break anything with them (unless you do a vicious spike – but my 5 and 2 year olds aren’t capable of that). PRICE: A Euro? A Dollar? Some Rands?

6. The Library - Raining again? Go to the library. It’s good for you, and often they have more than just books on offer. There are sometimes activities, computers, and in some even toys and play areas. Price: Free or the cost of an annual membership – only €2 at my local library!

I could keep going here, but use your imagination. Sometimes, you do need to spend a little money – but not much. The best toys are the core ones that get kids engaged, and which don’t cost much: Paper, crayons, Play-Doh™, reading books, balls, blocks, buckets, bowls, spoons, shovels, blankets. Some of these things aren’t even technically “toys”, but your kids’ imaginations will make them so.

In closing I’d like to say that, to be honest, one of the best purchases I’ve ever made for young children was part-time childcare – but that was a purchase for me, not them!

If you have more creative ideas for free or almost free activities, please share them in the comments section, here.